I GIVE ALL THE GLORY TO GOD

It's been 4 months but still whenever I watch this recorded video of my first ever TV guesting...I could not believe how I did it. Not many people know what I've been through before they saw me on TV. So let me share it to you now. From December of last year, 2011 to March of this year, 2012, I've had depression and nervous breakdown. Right now, I could not believe how I've managed to survive all the weird feelings that I had and the worse experiences I've been through. For most people, they could easily say I've almost gotten crazy. That's too sad because that just proves how narrow minded most people are. Even some people who I thought were my friends persecuted me and could not even give me a little sympathy. Well, on the lighter side, I have proven who my true friends are.

I don't have to define the meaning of DEPRESSION and NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. Let me just share why I had it. For 4 years, I've been home bound because of my job, being an online English Teacher via SKYPE, with lots of students from day to night. I was so stressed out. All the money I earned just went to the doctor and the pharmacy. My husband also contributed to my STRESS...and all of a sudden last year of July, I ended up in the hospital for almost 2 weeks because of ASTHMA and Hyperventilation syndrome, not to mention my stomach problems. I had severe Irritable Bowel Syndrome and have become allergic to many foods that my doctor advised me to have ENDOSCOPY (camera on tip of a tube to be inserted from mouth to your intestines) which is really horrible.

And on the first week of December, I was so scared I could not sleep waiting for the day of my ENDOSCOPY. The closer it came the worse I have become. Until I lost it. An expert GI doctor confirmed that he is 100% sure Endoscopy is not necessary because I have tension and anxiety. I was sleepless for 3 months with just an hour of sleep or two, my doctor referred me to a Psychiatrist. I took some anti-depressants which kicks like hell so I stopped it right away and just took sleeping pills for 3 months. I was under the care of a personal nurse and helper, Jenny (God sent angel) during those days. My husband and surprisingly my in-laws were very supportive of me. When I was getting some sleep, I decided to stop taking the pill but it was terrible that I have to experience some awful withdrawal symptoms like high blood pressure, weird feelings inside the heart, inside my head, hot feelings on the chest and back, anxiety and many more weird stuff. I thought GOD left me, until one day, I got an email inviting me to guest on the famous TV show here in my country and I was like OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My family rushed in my room and thought I was having a panic attack but then when they heard the news, they were crazier!

I was totally sleepless. So with just 1 hour of nap, I know that it was GOD who brought me there and did what I had to do. Since then, I slept better. That first guesting on It's Showtime was followed by another guesting on the same station, CGE.TV in da loop which was the website who discovered me and just recently, which was my third and hopefully not the last, on another network, Kapuso Mo Jessica Soho, which discovered my Tagalog version of the very popular song CALL ME MAYBE.

More tv appearances keeps on coming but I really don't take it seriously, I just enjoy them. I am not really wanting to be in showbiz... I am always aspiring what GOD wills for me... and I don't live my life to please anyone but only my LORD. After all that I've been through, I have learned my life's true purpose..not to be a singer or actress, but to express GOD in His victory and testify His greatness! Glory to GOD! Thank You OH LORD JESUS!